Did you just hear that HUGE sigh of relief??

My thirteen year old daughter just arrived home from nine days in Costa Rica on a school trip!  For those of you that know me, you are still picking your jaw up off the floor that she even went.  For those of you that don’t know me, lets just say she started babysitting for other kids before I felt comfortable to even leave her and her brother home with a sitter.  To say I can be an anxious, overprotective, control freak is an understatement! (although, we now qualify things with BY, Before Yoga and AY, After Yoga)  Much of my control freakiness was BY.  When she said that she wanted to go on this trip back in September, I knew in my heart, I couldn’t let my worry hold her back.  After all, we are well into the AY period!

 

I feel like what empowered her to go on this adventure is the same thing that empowered me to let her go.  “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”…right??  How could I hold her back from this experience?  Did I want her to be the anxious, overprotective, control freak mom too?  We spent many hours talking about what it means to step out of what feels easy and take advantage of opportunities that are right in front of you.  We talked about how when you do this, doors open to even more exciting and fulfilling opportunities.  Are you listening, Carlene??  I was speaking to myself as much as I was speaking to my daughter.  One of the many adventurous activities on her itinerary was zip lining and cliff jumping into the water.  How funny that this was this picture that appeared on my Facebook feed the day after she left.  Someone was speaking to me.

cliff diving

My heart broke a tiny bit, leaving her that early morning in the school parking lot.  The few days leading up to the trip were filled with anticipation, excitement, some apprehension and anxiety.  We had some really powerful discussions in those days.  Having just come home from the Boston Marathon and all the sadness of those days only added to our emotions.  Her tears flowed on the way to school but it was replaced with a quiet determination by the time we arrived to meet the group.  She shook as she was trying to calm herself to get out of the car.  I watched it happen right before my eyes.  I reassured her to just feel what she was feeling in her body, question exactly what it is and just let it be.  Are you watching, Carlene??  “What are you afraid of?”, I asked her.  We agreed that what she was afraid of were just made up stories in her mind, the what ifs.  Fear, designed to hold her back, keep her playing safe and small, lies that only pretend to protect you.  That fear wasn’t real, the only thing that was real was that moment.  Getting out of the car, onto the bus, and taking each moment as it came.  You’re listening, right Carlene??  She let all that fear and emotion come up, looked right at it, felt it in her body then, it just let her go.  She didn’t try to push it down or ignore it.  She just let it all come up and it released her.  Be sure you are taking good notes, Carlene!  I had the same opportunity to practice that very same exercise on the ride home and many times this past week.

 

This past week has had a few “out of the comfort zone” moments for me.  I sent my little girl off on what I hoped to be an adventure that will empower and invigorate her.  I launched my website, first blog post, my intention to share how yoga has changed my life and hopefully to inspire yours. All of these moments had a little bit of that person jumping off the cliff in them.  I am filled with enormous gratitude for the response on my first post and the love I feel as a result of simply sharing what expands my heart.  Sometimes, that little voice in your head tells you something good.  Your voice of intuition.  Listen to it.  It may only whisper sometimes but let it be more powerful that the constant chattering of the fears.  The voice of fear is lying to you.  Here I am again, wishing I could scream this off the page…Life does begin at the end of your comfort zone!  It’s kind of fun out here.  It’s a little scary but at times but you just have to feel that feeling and jump!

 

Thank you for reading.

Wishing you Health, Happiness, and Yoga!

Love, Carlene

 

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